My CV of Failures

Listening to one of the episodes of Hidden Brain, I was intrigued to hear that the professor of psychology who was being interviewed on the show had maintained a Resume of Failures. She was inspired to do so by another professor who had published an unlikely CV - that of his failures! He was inspired by Melanie Stefan who wrote an article in Nature about why one should keep a running tally of failures. 

This was a great idea since it shows the people aspiring to achieve something, that the path to success is riddled with failures. It might look "cute" when published by highly accomplished people since they  also have an "actual" resume listing their accomplishments. I began to wonder if mere mortals could also have their own CV of failures. This article is a result of that thought and here we go. 

I have divided my failures into two categories, first - where was I in a leadership role and could influence a group, and second - my individual failures. It is by no means my exhaustive list of failures but the ones that I could remember and I plan to keep updating it. 

Leadership failures

• Failure to influence the HR that my team-member could leave the company if his immigration case wasn't taken up right away. I had newly become a manager and didn't feel safe enough to voice my concerns. (In hindsight, it was probably good for the person who left the company since years later the company shut down our center during COVID pandemic).
• Instance when I couldn't prevent a couple of drunk people from creating a lot of noise while camping as a group (In fact, I facilitated getting a second bottle for them). As a result, the whole group was chastised by the campground staff.
• Giving in to gut feelings and anecdotes while ignoring the data.

Individual failures

• Exams I failed
• GATE qualification exam for getting into IITs for grad studies 
• Schools that I rejected my application
• University of Maryland
• University of Arizona
• Arizona State University
• Oregon State University
• Publications that were not accepted
• MWSCAS - due to lack of new topics
• SOCC - due to lack of data
• ISCAS - due to lack of new topics
• Companies that I interviewed for but couldn't get a job
• ADI
• Butterfly Network
• Intel
• Nokia-Siemens
• Panasonic semiconductors
• Broadcom
• Cadence
• Not making full use of the internal network to come up with research topics for next generation products.

Nature

We tend to forget
that we may not get
a second safety net

nature took a few million years to build
humans took a few mi years to evolve but
we took only a hundred years to destroy

is this what we want to leave
to our kinds who want to live

Playlist of beautiful Kannada songs on Sun

ಸೂರ್ಯನ ಕುರಿತ ಕನ್ನಡದ ಅದ್ಭುತ ಚಿತ್ರಗೀತೆಗಳು 

Here is the YouTube playlist

Life cycle of a Lay-off

Day 1: Shock - Did this really happen? What wrong did I do?

Day 2: Still under shock - Can I find a job? I haven't interviewed in a while. Get the resume ready!

Day 3: Job hunt begins - Search for jobs. Do I have to move? Can I find something nearby?

Day 4: Interview prep - There's so much to prepare! Where are my books?

Day 5: Network - yes, most people are helpful!

Day 6: Waiting - Why am I not getting any calls? Anything wrong with my resume?

Week 2: First Interview - Fiasco! I have become so rusty. Increase preparation intensity!

Week 3: Second Interview - Somewhat better, but the questions still seem like fireballs!

Week 4: Offer - Hopefully something works out. But if not, you would have gained enough confidence to ace the next interviews!

Fear of the dark

Woman with a dog (Christine) 

I slipped on my shoes as Jimmy whined eagerly, pawing at the door frame. It had been an unusually mild October day here in Massachusetts and it was hard to tell which of us was more excited to enjoy the last rays of warm sunshine. 

“Are you sure you don't want to join us?” I called to my husband Frank over the blaring TV. I clipped on Jimmy’s worn leash, petting his graying muzzle affectionately. He chuffed at me and turned to lick my hand.

“No thanks, Chrissy! Patriots are on fire today!” Frank called back.

I shrugged, grabbing my windbreaker off its hook as I cracked open the front door. Jimmy nosed it open further, trotting ahead of me towards the nearby state park.

The southern entrance of the park took us directly to the main beach. The end of swimming season meant no water flew to the lower beach from the dam. The dry lake bed reminded me of the Martian terrain, starkly different from just a few weeks ago when the beach was brimming with water and, lots of people.

We continued to walk past what used to be the beach, on to a trail towards a small bridge that led to a wooded patch. Jimmy pulled me deeper into the woods which I didn't mind since my fitbit said “3159 more steps to reach today’s goal!”. 

Growing up in Hopkinton, while I was in high school, this park had gained notoriety after a murder incident in the park. 

As I sailed back in memory, I realized that Jimmy and I had reached the Northern end of the park, while I blurted out, “Hurry up Jimmy! Frank and I have dinner plans tonight.” 

We were out of the woods in about twenty minutes which meant twenty more minutes to get home. As I was wondering how deserted the park was, a car went past the bridge towards the lower beach, which was only the second car I saw in the park today. 

When I got closer to the bridge, the car slowed down on the bridge and came to a stop. It is pretty unusual to stop a car at that spot. While I continued towards the bridge, the driver stepped out of the car. He was about six feet tall and dark, had a beard and was looking straight at me. 

My heart started to pound, as a second man stepped out of the car from the passenger seat. Hundreds of questions crossed my mind as I wanted to run but couldn’t move, even though Jimmy was pulling on the leash. 

"Oh God! Please save me..."

Man with a beard (Brijesh) 

My in laws were visiting us from India after my son was born. As per Indian culture, the mother-to-be usually moves in with her parents a few weeks before the due date. In our case it was the reverse since my mother-in-law had moved in with us just a week before my son was born. My father-in-law had recently come to the US to see my son.  

We drove down to the Hopkinton state park to see Fall colors on a beautiful warm evening. The park housed a dam which made a huge lake, making way for pretty good pictures under the right conditions. 

We found a good place to get down in the middle of the park. The trees had beautiful yellow and orange colors which was worth a few shots on my phone's camera.  

After taking enough pictures, we decided to head down to the southern side of the park where the beaches were located. The trees around the upper beach had not yet turned colors and hence we decided to check out the main beach area. As we drove down to the main beach, only to find it empty, we saw a car full of men heading out of the parking lot. 

As we got closer to the beach my wife exclaimed, "There used to be a lake here! Where did it go?". 

"Evaporated!! The lake has dried up". 

Since my three year old daughter could not see the dry lake bed from her car seat, she wanted to get down and take a look at the beach herself. We ignored her pleas until it became a shrill and a loud cry, by which time we were out of the parking lot and on the bridge above a stream that served as an outlet for the dam.  

The dam was built in the late nineteenth century to provide water to the city of Boston, but currently served as a recreational lake and also helped maintain the water table for the nearby wells that provide water to the town of Ashland. 

I decided to stop the car on the bridge since it gave a good view of the lower beach and the dried lake bed. As I slowed down the car, I saw a woman walk her dog towards the bridge. 

After I stopped the car, she stopped right in her tracks. From the distance she seemed quite beautiful and could have been in her mid thirties, and also looked frightened for some reason. 

I told my wife, "Look at that woman...", 

"She looks awfully scared".  

As my father-in-law and I got down from my car, the woman's face turned as pale as if she had seen a ghost. 

From the evolutionary point of view, our body's defence mechanism rushes most of the blood from our head to the limbs, in order to help run away from danger. Moreover under extreme circumstances, the images that we see, bypass the visual cortex and directly trigger actions to respond against the imminent danger. Our brain doesn't get a chance to think before it tells us to act. 

Since I could see that the woman was scared, I rushed to the back of the car to get my daughter out of the car seat, thinking that seeing my daughter would calm her down.

Christine: 

As I was about to call 911, the driver opened the rear passenger door to let somebody out. A little girl stepped out of the car and the two men and the girl walked towards the other side of the bridge looking at the dam. Perhaps these people don't mean any harm, they had just stopped at an unusual spot. 

Brijesh: 

The woman continued to walk towards the bridge only after seeing my daughter, while my daughter got consoled only after I pointed at the dry lake bed.

 She was excited as she said, "See Appa, there is no water in the lake. There is nobody on the beach either!"

While we were looking at the beach the woman stopped by and said, "I got frightened since this is an unusual spot to stop the car. For some reason I thought it was a car full of men".  

"Yes, there was no reason to stop the car on this bridge except that my daughter could not see the dry lake bed from her car seat and she would not stop crying until we showed her the dry lake bed!"  

"There was a murder in this park.... about twenty years ago but its memory is still green in my head. I guess I was overtaken by fear".  

Then she turned to my daughter and said, "Hi Sweetie, do you want to pat the dog? He is very friendly". 

My daughter usually stays away from dogs and just hid behind me.

"It's okay if you don’t want to pat him! Have a good night!" 

 "Good night!"

I wanted to apologize for unintentionally tormenting the woman but wasn't sure whether I should have, since all I had done was stop my car on a bridge in a deserted park. 

As the whole episode came to an end, for some reason, these words were echoing inside my head "...They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists..." When a portion of the population is pre-conditioned with such words from a man who was now in power, it's hard to expect sane response from a terrified public. Thinking back about the incident, I felt that I should have apologized to the woman.

munjane

ಮುಂಜಾವಿನ ಮಂಜು ಬಲು ಚೆಂದ
ಆ ಹೂಬಿಸಿಲಿನ ವಾತಾವರಣ
ಕೆಂಪು ಸೂರ್ಯನ ಆ ಕಿರಣ
ತರುವುದು ಅದೆಂತಹ ಆನಂದ

ಮುಂಜಾವಿನ ಸವಿಯ ಸವಿದವನೇ
ಬಲ್ಲ ಕಳೆದು ಹೋದೀತೆಂಬ ಭಯ
ತರವಲ್ಲ ದಿನ ಕಳೆದ ತರುವಾಯ
ಪುನಃ ಬರುವುದು ಸೊಬಗಿನಿಂದ  (ಆ ಮುಂಜಾನೆ)

ದೇವರು - ಯಾವ ದೇವರು?

ನಾವು ಮಾಡಿರೋ ದೇವರೋ ಅಥವಾ ನಮ್ಮನ್ನು ಮಾಡಿದ ದೇವರೋ?

ಅದೊಂದು ಕುಟುಂಬ ನನ್ನ ಕುಟುಂಬವೇ ಎಂದಿಟ್ಟುಕೊಳ್ಳೋಣ. ಆ ಕುಟುಂಬದಲ್ಲಿ ನಾಲ್ಕು ಮಂದಿ - ಗಂಡ, ಹೆಂಡತಿ ಮತ್ತಿಬ್ಬರು ಮಕ್ಕಳು; ಮಗಳಿಗೆ ನಾಲ್ಕು ವರ್ಷ, ಮಗನಿಗೆ ಒಂದೂಕಾಲು ವರ್ಷ. ಆ ಕುಟುಂಬ ವಾಸಿಸುವುದು ಅಮೆರಿಕೆಯಲ್ಲಿ. ರಜೆಗೆಂದು ಭಾರತಕ್ಕೆ ತೆರಳಿದ್ದು ರಜೆ ಮುಗಿಸಿ ಮರಳಿ ಅಮೆರಿಕೆಗೆ ಹೊರಡುವ ಸಮಯ ಬಂದಿತ್ತು.

ಭಾರತದಲ್ಲಿ ನಮ್ಮ ಮನೆ ಇದ್ದದ್ದು ದಾವಣಗೆರೆಯಲ್ಲಿ. ದಾವಣಗೆರೆಯಿಂದ ಕೆಂಪೇಗೌಡ ವಿಮಾನ ನಿಲ್ದಾಣಕ್ಕೆ ಸುಮಾರು ಮುನ್ನೂರು ಕಿಲೋಮೀಟರ್ ದೂರ. ಏನೂ ಅಡಚಣೆ ಇಲ್ಲದೆ ಸಾಗಿದರೆ ಸರಿಸುಮಾರು ಐದು ತಾಸಿನ ದಾರಿ. ಈ ಪ್ರಯಾಣಕ್ಕೆ ಸಜ್ಜಾಗುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ನಾವು ಕೊನೆಯ ಘಳಿಗೆಯ ಲಗೇಜಿನ ಪರಿಶೀಲನೆ ನಡೆಸುತ್ತಿದ್ದೆವು. ಉಡುಗೊರೆಯಾಗಿ ಬಂದ ಗಣೇಶನ ವಿಗ್ರಹವೊಂದು ಯಾವ ಬ್ಯಾಗಿನಲ್ಲೂ ಜಾಗವಿಲ್ಲದ ಕಾರಣ ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿಯೇ ಉಳಿಯಬೇಕಾದ ಪರಿಸ್ಥಿತಿ ಬಂದಿತ್ತು. ಆದರೆ ಮನೆಯವರ ಬಲವಂತದಿಂದ  ಏರ್ಲೈನ್ಸ್ನವರ ಮಿತಿಗಿಂತಲೂ  ಎರಡು ಕಿಲೋಗ್ರಾಮ್ ಹೆಚ್ಚಾದರೂ ಅದನ್ನು ಕೊಂಡುಹೋಗಬೇಕಾಗಿ ಬಂದಿತು. ನಾನು ಅನುಮಾನಿಸುತ್ತಿರುವಾಗ ನನ್ನ ತಂದೆಯವರು, "ಈ ಗಣೇಶನಿಗೆ ನಿನ್ನಿಂದ ಪೂಜೆ ಮಾಡುಸ್ಕೊಬೇಕು ಅಂತಿದ್ರೆ ಹೇಗಾದರೂ ಮಾಡಿ ನಿನ್ನ ಜೊತೆ ಬರ್ತಾನೆ. ಯೋಚನೆ ಮಾಡಬೇಡ" ಎಂದರು. ಸರಿ ಏನೋ ಧೈರ್ಯ ಮಾಡಿ ಲಗೇಜ್ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಭಾರವಾದರೂ ಗಣೇಶನನ್ನು ಜೊತೆಯಲ್ಲಿಯೇ ಕರೆದುಕೊಂಡು ಹೊರೆಟೆವು.

ನಮ್ಮನ್ನು ವಿಮಾನ ನಿಲ್ದಾಣಕ್ಕೆ ಕರೆದೊಯ್ಯಲು ಒಂದು ಟ್ರಾಕ್ಸ್ ಕ್ರೂಸರ್ ವಾಹನವು ಸಜ್ಜಾಗಿ ಮನೆಯ ಹೊರಗಡೆ ನಿಂತಿತ್ತು. ಅದರಲ್ಲಿ ನಮ್ಮ ಸಾಮಾನುಗಳನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಜೋಡಿಸಿ ನಮ್ಮ ಕುಟುಂಬವು ಪ್ರಯಾಣ ಬೆಳೆಸಿತು. ನಾವು ದಾವಣಗೆರೆಯಿಂದ ಹೊರಟಾಗ ವಿಮಾನವು ಹೋರಾಡಲು ಸುಮಾರು ಎಂಟು ತಾಸು ಸಮಯವಿತ್ತು. ಹಾಗಾಗಿ ಸರಿಯಾದ ಸಮಯಕ್ಕೆ ತಲುಪುವೆವು ಎಂದು ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ನಿದ್ದೆ ಮಾಡಲು ಮುಂದಾದೆನು. ವಾಹನ ಚಾಲಕನು ವೇಗ ಮಿತಿಗಿಂತಲೂ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ನಿಧಾನವಾಗಿಯೇ ಚಲಿಸುತ್ತಿದ್ದನು. ಹೀಗೆಯೇ ಸುಮಾರು ಎರಡೂವರೆ ತಾಸಿನ ಬಳಿಕ ಚಕ್ರದ ಬಳಿ ಏನೋ ಶಬ್ದವಾಗಿ ಎಚ್ಚರವಾಯಿತು. ಅದೇ  ಸಮಯದಲ್ಲಿ ನನ್ನ ತಂದೆಯವರ ದೂರವಾಣಿ ಕರೆಯೂ ಬಂದಿತು. ಅವರಿಗೆ "ಟೈರ್ ಪಂಚರ್ ಆಗಿರ್ಬೇಕು ನೋಡ್ತೀನಿ" ಎಂದು ಹೇಳಿ ಕರೆಯನ್ನು ಕಟ್ ಮಾಡಿದೆನು. ಚಾಲಕನಿಗೆ ಸ್ಟೆಪ್ನಿ ಇದೆಯಾ ಎಂದು ಕೇಳಿ ಇದೆ ಎಂದು ಉತ್ತರ ಬಂದಾಗ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಧೈರ್ಯ ಬಂದಿತು. ಆಗ ಸಮಯ ರಾತ್ರಿ ಸುಮಾರು ಹತ್ತು ಘಂಟೆಯಾಗಿತ್ತು.

ವಾಹನವು ಯಾವುದೋ ಒಂದು ಮೇಲ್ಸುತುವೆಯ ಮೇಲೆ ನಿಂತಿತ್ತು. ಸೇತುವೆಯ ಮೇಲೆ ನಿಂತಿದ್ದ ಕಾರಣ ಕೊನೆಯ ಲೇನಿನಲ್ಲೇ ನಿಂತಿತ್ತು. ಹಿಂದಿನಿಂದ ಬರುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ವಾಹನಗಳು ಲೇನ್ ಬದಲಾಯಿಸಿ ಪಕ್ಕಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋಗುತ್ತಿದ್ದವು (ಅದೃಷ್ಟವಶಾತ್!). ನಾನು ನನ್ನ ಫೋನಿನ ಫ್ಲಾಶ್ ಲೈಟ್ ಉಪಯೋಗಿಸಿ ಚಾಲಕನಿಗೆ ಚಕ್ರವನ್ನು ಬದಲಾಯಿಸಲು ಬೆಳಕು ಹಿಡಿದೆನು. ಚಕ್ರವು ಬರ್ಸ್ಟ್ ಆದಂತೆ ಕಾಣುತ್ತಿತ್ತು. ಇನ್ನು ಏನಿದ್ದರೂ ಸ್ಟೆಪ್ನಿ ನಂಬಿಕೊಂಡೇ ವಿಮಾನ ನಿಲ್ದಾಣ ಮುಟ್ಟಬೇಕಿತ್ತು. ಆದರೆ ಜಾಕ್ ಸರಿ ಇಲ್ಲದ ಕಾರಣ ಸ್ಟೆಪ್ನಿಯನ್ನು ಸಹ ಕೂರಿಸಲು ಆಗಲಿಲ್ಲ. ಆಗ ನನಗೆ ವಿಮಾನವು ನಮ್ಮನ್ನು ಇಲ್ಲಿಯೇ ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಹಾರಬಹುದು ಎಂದೆನಿಸಿತು. ಅದಕ್ಕಿಂತ ಹೆಚ್ಚಾಗಿ ಆ ಕತ್ತಲೆಯಿಂದ ನನ್ನ ಕುಟುಂಬವನ್ನು ಹೇಗೆ ಸುರಕ್ಷಿತ ಸ್ಥಳಕ್ಕೆ ಕರೆದೊಯ್ಯಬೇಕು ಎಂದು ಘಾಬರಿಯಾದೆನು.

ಹೀಗೆ ಯೋಚಿಸುತ್ತಿರುವಾಗ ಯಾವುದೋ ಒಂದು ವಾಹನವು ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಮುಂದೆ ಹೋಗಿ ನಿಲ್ಲಿಸಿತು. ಆ ವಾಹನದಿಂದ ನಾಲ್ಕು ಜನ ಯುವಕರು ಕೆಳಗಿಳಿದು ನಮ್ಮ ವಾಹನದ ಬಳಿ ಬಂದರು. ಮೊದಲು ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಗಾಬರಿಯಾದ ನಾನು ನಂತರ ಅವರು ಏನಾಗಿದೆ ಏನಾದರು ಸಹಾಯ ಬೇಕೇ ಎಂದು ವಿಚಾರಿಸಿದಾಗ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಸಮಾಧಾನತಂದುಕೊಂಡೆನು. ಅವರ ಬಳಿ ಸರಿಯಾದ ಜಾಕ್ ಇದ್ದೀತು. ಅವರ ಸಹಾಯದಿಂದ ಸ್ಟೆಪ್ನಿಯನ್ನು ಜೋಡಿಸಲಾಯಿತು. ಆದರೆ ಆ ಚಕ್ರದಲ್ಲಿ ಕಡಿಮೆ ಹವೆಯಿತ್ತು. ಆದ್ದರಿಂದ ಆ ಯುವಕರ ವಾಹನದಲ್ಲಿ ನಾನು ಮತ್ತು ನನ್ನ ಕುಟುಂಬವು ಪಂಚರ್ ಶಾಪ್ ವರೆಗೂ ಪ್ರಯಾಣ ಬೆಳೆಸಿದೆವು. ಇಷ್ಟರಲ್ಲಿ ಕೇವಲ ಸ್ಟೆಪ್ನಿಯನ್ನು ನಂಬಿಕೊಂಡು ವಿಮಾನ ನಿಲ್ದಾಣ ತಲುಪುವುದು ಆಗಲಾರದೆಂದು ನನ್ನ ಅಣ್ಣನಿಗೆ ಕರೆ ಮಾಡಿ ಯಾವುದಾದರೂ ಇನ್ನೊಂದು ವಾಹನದ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ವಿಚಾರಿಸಿದೆನು. ನಾವು ಸಿರಾ ಪಟ್ಟಣದಿಂದ ಸುಮಾರು ಹತ್ತು ಕಿಲೋಮೀಟರ್ ದೂರದಲ್ಲಿದ್ದೆವು.

ಪಂಚರ್ ಶಾಪ್ ಬಳಿ ಬಂದು ನೋಡಿದಾಗ ಆ ಸ್ಟೆಪ್ನಿಯ ಸ್ಥಿತಿ ಹೇಗಿತ್ತೆಂದರೆ ಅದರಲ್ಲಿ ಹವೆ ನಿಲ್ಲುತ್ತಲೆ ಇರಲಿಲ್ಲ. ನಾವು ದಾವಣಗೆರೆಯಿಂದ ಹೊರಟ ವಾಹನವು ಮುಂದೆ ಹೋಗುವ ಹಾಗಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ. ಹಾಗಾಗಿ ಪಂಚರ್ ಶಾಪಿನ ವಿಳಾಸ ತಿಳಿಸಿ ಇನ್ನೊಂದು ವಾಹನ ಬರಲು ಖಚಿತಪಡಿಸಿದೆನು. ಆ ವಾಹನವು ಇಪ್ಪತ್ತು ನಿಮಿಷದಲ್ಲಿ ನಾವಿದ್ದ ಬಳಿ ಬಂದಿತು. ಎಲ್ಲಾ ಸಾಮಾನುಗಳನ್ನು ಈ ವಾಹನಕ್ಕೆ ಸ್ಥಳಾಂತರಿಸಿ ನಾವು ವಿಮಾನ ನಿಲ್ದಾಣಕ್ಕೆ ಪ್ರಯಾಣ ಬೆಳೆಸಿದೆವು. ಆಗ ಸಮಯ ರಾತ್ರಿ ಸುಮಾರು ಹನ್ನೊಂದು ಗಂಟೆ ಮೂವತ್ತು ನಿಮಿಷಗಳು. ಅಲ್ಲಿಂದ ವಿಮಾನ ನಿಲ್ದಾಣ ತಲುಪಲು ಇನ್ನೂ ಎರಡು ಗಂಟೆ ಮೂವತ್ತು ನಿಮಿಷ ಬೇಕಿತ್ತು, ಅದು ಏನೂ ಅಡಚಣೆ ಇಲ್ಲದಿದ್ದರೆ. ದೇವರ ಮೇಲೆ ಭಾರವನ್ನು ಹಾಕಿ ನಮ್ಮ ಪ್ರಯಾಣ ಸಾಗಿಸಿದೆವು.

ನಾವು ಸರ್ವಿಸ್ ರೋಡ್ನಿಂದ ಹೊರಟು ಹೆದ್ದಾರಿ ಹಿಡಿದ ಕೆಲವೇ ಕ್ಷಣಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ವಾಹನದ ಎಂಜಿನ್ ನಿಂತುಬಿಟ್ಟಿತು. ಚಾಲಕನು ವಾಹನವನ್ನು ಹೆದ್ದಾರಿ ಪಕ್ಕಕ್ಕೆ ನಿಲ್ಲಿಸಲು ಒಮ್ಮೆಲೇ ಭಯವಾಯಿತು. ಇದೇನಪ್ಪ ಹೊಸ ತೊಂದರೆ ಎಂದು ಆಲೋಚಿಸುತ್ತ ಚಾಲಕನಿಗೆ ಕೇಳಿದೆನು, "ಏನ್ ಸರ್ ಎಂಜಿನ್ ಟ್ರಬಲ್ ಇರೋ ಹಾಗಿದೆಯಲ್ಲ?". ಅದೇ ಸಮಯಕ್ಕೆ ಚಾಲಕನು ಇನ್ನೊಮ್ಮೆ ಎಂಜಿನ್ ಸ್ಟಾರ್ಟ್ ಮಾಡುತ್ತಲೇ, "ಒಂದೊಂದ್ ಸಾರಿ ಹೀಗೆ ಆಗುತ್ತೆ ಸರ್, ಹೆದರಬೇಡಿ" ಎಂದು ಸಮಾಧಾನ ಹೇಳಿದನು. ಮುಂದೇನೂ ಅಡಚಣೆ ಇಲ್ಲದೆ ಬೆಂಗಳೂರು ತಲುಪಿದೆವು. ಅಲ್ಲಿಂದ ವಿಮಾನ ನಿಲ್ದಾಣವು ಸುಮಾರು ನಲವತ್ತೈದು ನಿಮಿಷಗಳು. ಚಾಲಕನಿಗೆ ಕೊಡಲು ಹಣವಿಲ್ಲದ ಕಾರಣ ಅಲ್ಲಿಯೇ ಒಂದು ಏಟಿಎಂ ಹತ್ತಿರ ವಾಹನ ನಿಲ್ಲಿಸಲು ಹೇಳಿ ಹಣ ಬಿಡಿಸಿಕೊಂಡು ಬಂದೆನು.

ಕೊನೆಗೆ ನಾವು ವಿಮಾನ ನಿಲ್ದಾಣ ತಲುಪಿದಾಗ ಬೆಳಗಿನ ಜಾವ ಎರಡು ಗಂಟೆ ಹದಿನೈದು ನಿಮಿಷವಾಗಿತ್ತು. ತಾರಾತುರಿಯಲ್ಲೇ ಸಾಮಾನುಗಳೆನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಕೆಳಗಿಳಿಸಿಕೊಂಡು ವಿಮಾನ ನಿಲ್ದಾಣದ ಒಳಗೆ ಹೋದೆವು. ಏರ್ಲೈನ್ಸ್ನವರು ಇನ್ನೂ ಸಾಮಾನುಗಳನ್ನು ಸ್ವೀಕರಿಸುತ್ತಿದ್ದರು. ಹಾಗಾಗಿ ಚೆಕ್ ಇನ್ ಮಾಡಿ ನಮ್ಮ ಗೇಟ್ ಬಳಿ ತೆರಳಿ ಮನೆಗೆ ಕರೆ ಮಾಡಿ ತಿಳಿಸಿದೆವು. ಅಲ್ಲಿಯವರೆಗೂ ಅವರು ಘಾಬರಿಯಾಗಿಯೇ ಇದ್ದಂತಿತ್ತು. ನನ್ನ ತಾಯಿಯವರು "ನೋಡು ಗಣೇಶನ ವಿಗ್ರಹ ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಹೊರ್ಟಿಡ್ರಿ. ಅವನನ್ನ ಕರ್ಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಗಿದ್ದಕ್ಕೇನೆ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಎಲ್ಲಾ ವಿಘ್ನಗಳನ್ನೂ ದೂರ ಮಾಡಿದ್ದಾನೆ" ಎಂದರು. ನನ್ನ ತಂದೆಯವರು "ಗಣೇಶ ನಿಮ್ಮಿಂದ ಪೂಜೆ ಮಾಡಿಸ್ಕೊಳೋದಕ್ಕೆ ನಿಮ್ಮನ್ನು ಕರ್ಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಗಿದಾನೆ" ಎಂದರು.

ಎಲ್ಲವೂ ಸಿನಿಮೀಯ ರೀತಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ನಡೆದು ಹೋದಂತಿರಲು ನನಗನ್ನಿಸಿದ್ದು  ಇದು - ಗಣೇಶನು ನಮ್ಮನ್ನು ಕರೆದುಕೊಂಡು ಹೋದನೋ ಇಲ್ಲವೋ ನನಗೆ ತಿಳಿಯದು. ಆದರೆ ನಾವು ಆ ಕತ್ತಲಲ್ಲಿ ನಿಂತಿದ್ದಾಗ ನಮಗೆ ಪರಿಚಯವೇ ಇಲ್ಲದೆ ಸಹಾಯ ಮಾಡಿದ ಆ ಯುವಕರು ಹಾಗೂ ತಡರಾತ್ರಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ನಮ್ಮನ್ನು ಕರೆದೊಯ್ಯಲು ಸಿದ್ಧನಾದ ಸಿರಾ ಪಟ್ಟಣದ ಆ ಚಾಲಕ, ಇವರ ಸಹಾಯವಿಲ್ಲದೆ ನಾವು ವಿಮಾನ ನಿಲ್ದಾಣವನ್ನು ಸರಿಯಾದ ಸಮಯಕ್ಕೆ ತಲುಪಲು ಸಾಧ್ಯವಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ. ದೇವರಿಗೆ ಮಾತ್ರ ಕೃತಜ್ಞತೆ ಸಲ್ಲಿಸಿದರೆ ಆ ದೇವರು ಮೆಚ್ಚುತ್ತಾನೆಯೇ?!

Real Estate

Seena had fallen in to the most common trap set by real estate marketers namely, over-promised amenities and the seemingly low advertised prices which do not include the taxes and fees. The expo was modest in terms of the flat designs that were offered and the pictures of the neighbourhoods looked okay. The common theme throughout the Kanteerava stadium, where the expo was being held, was the deceptively low advertised prices which would bloat to high prices once you include the extras. 

Seena went around several stalls laid out by various vendors until he came across one vendor's offer which he could not believe at first, but the sales person in that booth was all set to deliver his pitch in a calm and professional manner. "Hello there, my name is Prabhu and I am representing Heavenly Estates. Whom do I have the pleasure to talk today?"

"My name is Seena. The stuff that you are advertising over on that corner is weird and interesting at the same time", Seena was pointing to the right corner of the booth. 

"Oh! That's our brand new offering but let's first get started with our popular stuff. We have a new construction coming up just fifteen kilometres from the city center and conveniently located close to the Northern metro line.  Also very close to the airport, just thirty minutes sir! We have 1bhk, 2bhk and 3bhk homes available at thrift prices."

"That's very impressive. So, is the advertised price of thirty lakh rupees, that of the 2bhk home?", asked Seena. 

"No, Sir. That's our studio apartment, but we are currently not offering it since none of our customers have shown any interest in studio apartments".  

Seena was wondering, how the hell could they advertise something that's not offered, but that's the kind of marketing game most of these companies had been playing. "How much does the 2bhk home cost?", enquired Seena. 

"Sir, that ranges from sixty lakh to eighty lakh rupees, depending on which direction and floor you want. If you want it fully finished it's going to be ten lakh rupees extra", Prabhu answered.

"Fully finished meaning with cabinets and appliances?"

"No sir, fully finished meaning tiles and doors will be fit"

Seena wondered what the f*** was going on but tried to keep his calm. "I cannot afford any of your offerings; even your non-existent studio home is not affordable for me". 

"Sir, don't worry. Now let's come to our next offering which many people can afford and I am pretty sure you can afford too. We are one of the first in the market to offer such a product. Don't worry if you can afford a place right now for living, but you can have a nice gorgeous place to finally rest in peace! We offer lake view spots, hill-side spots, you name it!"

"How big are these spots?"

"Six by three; people can buy multiple spots to rest comfortably based on their affordability". 

"How much does a spot cost?"

"You pay one thousand rupees monthly for each spot."

"And how long is the payment?"

"You would keep paying until you are ready to occupy the spot!"

"What? That's going to be a lot of money over the life-time"

"Yes sir, we understand. That's why our company has some good offering for youngsters like you, which is that you can qualify for a thirty year cap if you are under 30" 

"Would you guarantee that a spot would be available when one is ready?"

"Absolutely sir! You just need to give a call to this number and we will make sure that the spot is ready", Prabhu was pointing to a number on one of the fliers. 

This marketing pitch was reaching completely absurd levels. Seena was wondering how the hell would one know when he/she is ready, but he was determined to guage the absurdity co-efficient of this pitch by letting it reach its completion. 

"And you can even give a spot as a gift to your friends and family", Prabhu continued.

Seena's head reeled and had reached its patience limit. Prabhu had more to offer since his face seemed to light up before he started, "If you sign up today, you can enter a raffle to win a spot next to this famous personality". Prabhu was pointing to the photo of a famous personality who was currently in exile.

"Aiyo Prabhuve!", cried Seena.

"Excuse me sir?"

"No, not you Sir. I was just remembering my god. Your company is aptly named 'Heavenly estates'!". Seena bid adieu to the stall and hurried out of the Kanteerava studium. 

Musophobia

I remember times as a kid I used to hold dead mice by their tail and fling them into the garbage or into the woods. It was casual and it never bothered me. I hadn't encountered mice since a couple of decades until I became a home owner. It was now time to deal with the mice face to face. It was a dreadful experience and I realized that I had a fear of mice.

Yes, mice! I even looked up the word for it and it's called "Musophobia". I was certain that I was musophobic when I couldn't sleep for two nights; every minor sound would make me jump. I was even worried that the mice would encroach into the whole house up from the basement.

Every time I saw a mouse in the trap, I was scared to take it out, afraid that it would jump up on me. I cannot explain the source of this fear which has the potential to bring several sleepless nights upon me.

But, over time I have learnt to deal with these creatures who are part of my surroundings, not being sure who is encroaching whose space!

[Picture courtesy]

ಚುಟುಕಗಳು

 

ಮನೆಕೆಲಸ

ನನ್ನ ಸ್ನೇಹಿತನಿಗೆ ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕೆಲಸವಿತ್ತು
ನನ್ನ ಸ್ನೇಹಿತನಿಗೆ ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕೆಲಸವಿತ್ತು
ಏಕೆಂದರೆ ಅವನ ಮನೆಯಾಕೆಗೆ ಕೆಲಸವಿತ್ತು!!

 

The Grand Circus

People who came there expected to see a movie but they had a surprise awaiting them. It was not a movie anymore but it had turned out to be a grand circus! The circus has begun and the ring master is using his whip to show the world that he is the boss and that he is in control. He uses his whistle often to scare those around him and has promises of better food along the way. He is promising a bigger and better circus under his mastery but people did not expect a circus. In fact they did not know what to expect! The ring master has hired clowns who can sing and dance the best to his ridiculous tunes. Time will decide how long the people would tolerate this circus since they were expecting a movie.