Friday, June 23, 2017

Real Estate

Seena had fallen in to the most common trap set by real estate marketers namely, over-promised amenities and the seemingly low advertised prices which do not include the taxes and fees. The expo was modest in terms of the flat designs that were offered and the pictures of the neighbourhoods looked okay. The common theme throughout the Kanteerava stadium, where the expo was being held, was the deceptively low advertised prices which would bloat to high prices once you include the extras. 

Seena went around several stalls laid out by various vendors until he came across one vendor's offer which he could not believe at first, but the sales person in that booth was all set to deliver his pitch in a calm and professional manner. "Hello there, my name is Prabhu and I am representing Heavenly Estates. Whom do I have the pleasure to talk today?"

"My name is Seena. The stuff that you are advertising over on that corner is weird and interesting at the same time", Seena was pointing to the right corner of the booth. 

"Oh! That's our brand new offering but let's first get started with our popular stuff. We have a new construction coming up just fifteen kilometres from the city center and conveniently located close to the Northern metro line.  Also very close to the airport, just thirty minutes sir! We have 1bhk, 2bhk and 3bhk homes available at thrift prices."

"That's very impressive. So, is the advertised price of thirty lakh rupees, that of the 2bhk home?", asked Seena. 

"No, Sir. That's our studio apartment, but we are currently not offering it since none of our customers have shown any interest in studio apartments".  

Seena was wondering, how the hell could they advertise something that's not offered, but that's the kind of marketing game most of these companies had been playing. "How much does the 2bhk home cost?", enquired Seena. 

"Sir, that ranges from sixty lakh to eighty lakh rupees, depending on which direction and floor you want. If you want it fully finished it's going to be ten lakh rupees extra", Prabhu answered.

"Fully finished meaning with cabinets and appliances?"

"No sir, fully finished meaning tiles and doors will be fit"

Seena wondered what the f*** was going on but tried to keep his calm. "I cannot afford any of your offerings; even your non-existent studio home is not affordable for me". 

"Sir, don't worry. Now let's come to our next offering which many people can afford and I am pretty sure you can afford too. We are one of the first in the market to offer such a product. Don't worry if you can afford a place right now for living, but you can have a nice gorgeous place to finally rest in peace! We offer lake view spots, hill-side spots, you name it!"

"How big are these spots?"

"Six by three; people can buy multiple spots to rest comfortably based on their affordability". 

"How much does a spot cost?"

"You pay one thousand rupees monthly for each spot."

"And how long is the payment?"

"You would keep paying until you are ready to occupy the spot!"

"What? That's going to be a lot of money over the life-time"

"Yes sir, we understand. That's why our company has some good offering for youngsters like you, which is that you can qualify for a thirty year cap if you are under 30" 

"Would you guarantee that a spot would be available when one is ready?"

"Absolutely sir! You just need to give a call to this number and we will make sure that the spot is ready", Prabhu was pointing to a number on one of the fliers. 

This marketing pitch was reaching completely absurd levels. Seena was wondering how the hell would one know when he/she is ready, but he was determined to guage the absurdity co-efficient of this pitch by letting it reach its completion. 

"And you can even give a spot as a gift to your friends and family", Prabhu continued.

Seena's head reeled and had reached its patience limit. Prabhu had more to offer since his face seemed to light up before he started, "If you sign up today, you can enter a raffle to win a spot next to this famous personality". Prabhu was pointing to the photo of a famous personality who was currently in exile.

"Aiyo Prabhuve!", cried Seena.

"Excuse me sir?"

"No, not you Sir. I was just remembering my god. Your company is aptly named 'Heavenly estates'!". Seena bid adieu to the stall and hurried out of the Kanteerava studium. 

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Musophobia

I remember times as a kid I used to hold dead mice by their tail and fling them into the garbage or into the woods. It was casual and it never bothered me. I hadn't encountered mice since a couple of decades until I became a home owner. It was now time to deal with the mice face to face. It was a dreadful experience and I realized that I had a fear of mice.

Yes, mice! I even looked up the word for it and it's called "Musophobia". I was certain that I was musophobic when I couldn't sleep for two nights; every minor sound would make me jump. I was even worried that the mice would encroach into the whole house up from the basement.

Every time I saw a mouse in the trap, I was scared to take it out, afraid that it would jump up on me. I cannot explain the source of this fear which has the potential to bring several sleepless nights upon me.

But, over time I have learnt to deal with these creatures who are part of my surroundings, not being sure who is encroaching whose space!

WeirdPhobia.com

Thursday, May 4, 2017

ಚುಟುಕಗಳು

 

ಮನೆಕೆಲಸ

ನನ್ನ ಸ್ನೇಹಿತನಿಗೆ ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕೆಲಸವಿತ್ತು
ನನ್ನ ಸ್ನೇಹಿತನಿಗೆ ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕೆಲಸವಿತ್ತು
ಏಕೆಂದರೆ ಅವನ ಮನೆಯಾಕೆಗೆ ಕೆಲಸವಿತ್ತು!!

 

Saturday, February 4, 2017

The Grand Circus

People who came there expected to see a movie but they had a surprise awaiting them. It was not a movie anymore but it had turned out to be a grand circus! The circus has begun and the ring master is using his whip to show the world that he is the boss and that he is in control. He uses his whistle often to scare those around him and has promises of better food along the way. He is promising a bigger and better circus under his mastery but people did not expect a circus. In fact they did not know what to expect! The ring master has hired clowns who can sing and dance the best to his ridiculous tunes. Time will decide how long the people would tolerate this circus since they were expecting a movie.  

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Money!!

Money!!

mon·ey
noun, often attributive \ˈmə-nē\
something generally accepted as a medium of exchange, a measure of value, or a means of payment: as
a : officially coined or stamped metal currency b : money of account c : paper money

(Above is one of the definitions of money from www.merriam-webster.com. Most of the people need money for food, clothing, shelter, hobby and other bazillion things which may or may not make sense!!)

 ("Money" by Pink Floyd)

Have you ever wondered what is the ultimate source of your money? If you are earning, your immediate source of money would be your employer and if you are not earning, your immediate source of money would be your parents or friends or someone who has money and is willing to share some of it with you. 

But where do the immediate sources of money get their money from? For example, if you are employed by a company, the company is your immediate source of money. Let's suppose that the company gets its money by making profits out of its products (or in case the company is not in profit, it might get its money from some loaner. Company can mean any institution/enterprise which is employing people). To make matters simple, let's also suppose that the products are bought by some people having money. So, in this "simple" money-flow model, the flow of money is:

People-->Company-->Employees

The "People" in the model should have an immediate source of money which could be one of the two sources initially mentioned. Those immediate sources should also get their money somehow which results again in a model similar to the "simple" model. By extension, the flow of money is: 

People1-->Company1-->Employees1/People2-->Company2-->Employees2/People3-->....

This model could probably be extended over and over again which may or may not give a plausible answer to the question!

 There could be a feedback somewhere in the above flow, but it may not be straight-forward to find the location of the feedback. For example, some part of People3 could contribute to Company1 so that they are getting some part of the money they spent but unfortunately this is not always true. This simple model does not answer the question: "What is the ultimate source of my money?" but the answer could be that the source is distributed, just like the source of water in a river!!

Sunday, December 9, 2012

How long...

How long should I waitFor the trees to come alive!
For their leaves to turn green!
For those birds to make their 
Nests amidst the foliage!

How long should I wait
To listen to their songs
And sing with them
How long should I wait
For the flowers to blossom
Into beautiful colors!

How long should I wait
For the view of green grass!
To see the bugs and 
Grasshoppers hop around
And play in the grass!


How long should I wait
To see the nature spring back to Life!
How long should I wait 
For the Spring...?!


Sunday, June 3, 2012

Momentary Lapse of Reason

I guess it happens with every one; if you stick with sanity during that one moment, you will be fine.